Fall is officially here.
This means so many wonderful things: getting to wear jackets outside without melting like the Wicked Witch of the West, there’s some new Google phones getting announced next week, and I can break out the fuzzy knee high socks! Woo hoo! Oh, also — PUMPKINS ARE BACK! Now, that may not mean a lot to you, but that’s because you’ve never had my pumpkin seeds. Pumpkins may just be set dressing or photo fodder for most of us, but this tech-loving snacker knows better. The best use for pumpkins isn’t chunking them out a cannon, it’s for gutting them and baking the seeds…
And wallpapers. They do make really good wallpapers.
Look at this! It’s too ridiculously adorable. I think we can all agree it doesn’t get more adorably fall than a little black cat with a jack-o-lantern. Now, there are two things about this wallpaper: first, this is a paid wallpaper, and I have no problem paying for it because LOOK AT THOSE EYES! Second, if you’re a Chrome browser user, it also comes as an adorable Chrome theme.
Just be careful looking at those eyes, they will cut deep into your soul and drag the biggest AWWW out of you.
Now, in Cinderella we had a glass slipper, but what would’ve been amazing is if that pumpkin she’d been riding in had turn to glass. I mean, look at that! So shiny, so round… so perfect. Isn’t it a wonder? And while it’s not a ridiculously bright orange, the dark burnt orange of the wallpaper fits with a broader set of themes and home screens than other, more bold colors.
This is Halloween, this is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!
Can you keep a secret? I sing this to my pumpkins as I carry them into my house to gut them. The Nightmare Before Christmas may be an odd duck among the Disney portfolio, but there’s no denying its distinct and wonderful flair. Jack is the Pumpkin King, and his lovely, skeletal grin has graced many a pumpkin. This dark wallpaper lets Jack share that skeletal grin with your home screen.
There are Pokemon that look like pumpkins. Of course there are! And look at the Pumpkaboo, aren’t they just the end of all cuteness? I’d be scared to own one, though, because I’d be afraid it would hide next to the pumpkins I intend to carve. I’d also be afraid of traumatizing it by gutting a bunch of things that looks like it and then baking and eating their guts. Also, this wallpaper will work beyond Halloween if you’re the type to not change wallpapers often, because the Pumpkaboo are forming a Christmas tree, complete with a Shiny Pumpkaboo for a tree topper!
No, I’m not drooling. Shut up… Okay, I’ve tooted my horn about my pumpkin seeds, and I know the question on all of your minds: how do I make them? Well, here’s my secret: I brine them. After I cut open a pumpkin, like the ones on this wallpaper, I give the seeds a rinse and then brine them in a half-cup of water and two tablespoons of pickling salt. After a few hours (usually overnight), I drain the seeds and dry them on a tea towel for a half hour. I then melt a half-stick of butter for every cup of seeds, stir in two more tablespoons of pickling salt, coat the seeds in this loveliness, spread them in a single layer on a parchment-lined cookie sheet, and bake them at 340 until golden, crispy, and delicious.